Diary Entry: August 31, 2017

I've been inactive for a while now because I don't really have something worthwhile to talk about (or so I feel) but I guess I needed to let this one out even if it will just be here. It's been one complete week since I went out to seek assistance somewhere in Rosario, Pasig.

I was scheduled for a quick, which turned to a long, meeting last August 31 since it was the only opening the person I was meeting had. I called to schedule a meeting probably 3 weeks before that date so that's how in demand she was. Typically, I would have chickened out the last minute, but because of the support I received and how the logical side of my brain coaxed me in continuing, I entered and waited inside her little, homey office.

I found out about her with the help of a very close friend who asked another friend of ours. I was hesitant on calling the number given to me, thinking that I might end up wasting both her and my time by dropping by. Hours passed before I finally gave in and dialed her number using the phone inside our tiny, yellow office. Her secretary answered on the third ring and asked me a few questions and informed me of the next open schedule. I confirmed for an afternoon meeting on August 31; conveniently, it was our pay day and the start of another long weekend.

A day before my schedule, I asked my manager if I can take the day off due to medical reasons. He didn't ask anymore than that and agreed. I slept at Jem's house the night before since I needed to take care of another thing early in the morning. We probably only had 3-4 hours of sleep because we were talking 'till late at night.

Morning came and we both got ready. Him for his duty in UST Hospital and me for my big day ahead. After finishing my agenda in UST, I quickly headed to her office. I felt the drum of my heart with every step I take to get to my destination and the cold sweat that ran down the line of my back. I was scared. Then all of a sudden, I was already in front of her office. Sitting on a black plump sofa. Already waiting for my turn.

I texted Jem that I wanted out but he insisted that I should go since I was already there. He sent me supportive messages and I left it at that since I know he too was busy with his duty. When I felt that my knees were turning weak and my hands were sweating profusely, I stepped out and decided to eat at a nearby food stall to calm my nerves.

I returned right after and waited patiently for my name to be called. Since I was scheduled after her lunch break, I was able to take a short nap on her very comfy sand-colored sofa. There were a number of people waiting like me when I opened my eyes. Not long after, she came out of her office with a stack of folders in hand and called for my name.

"de Leon? Justine de Leon?" she announced.
I got up, "Yes po," I said. She smiled and ushered me inside her office.

Her office was filled with natural light. Really, the artificial ones didn't really help at all. There was a big book shelf on one side with a space that serves as her table and two big sofas situated on the middle back of the room. Between them was a brown coffee table. I couldn't help but look around her spacious office and observe every single detail because I needed to calm my steel nerves.

She gestured for me to sit down and she followed suit.
"So," she started, "how can I help you, Justine?"
An incomprehensible sound came out of my mouth followed by a short, embarrassed laugh.
"I honestly don't know where to start..." I replied.

But even after saying that, I was able to open up to her. My woes and all the negative thoughts I had clamped up inside. We probably talked more than what time let me feel. I walked out of her office after an hour with 2 prescription papers on my hand. One with 3 copies since she told me that pharmacists are heavily strict on that particular medicine.

I was diagnosed with depression.

And I have to take 2 prescription medicines to help me. Along with the feeling of depression, anxiety and panic attacks are very common so these two are also being addressed by the medicines given to me.

I've been taking my medicines for the past 6 days. The first time I took it, I felt like my head had weights attached to it. Not long after I took it, I was dead asleep on my bed. I was woken up the following morning by our dog, Aina, jumping on me. That was the longest sleep I had for the past few months. Before, I usually wake up in the early morning hours, usually around 3AM and get back to sleep by 5AM.

I searched for the side effects of the medicines I'm taking and mostly it says that I'll be feeling sleepy. Indeed I feel sleepy for the entire day. Thankfully I don't feel tired at all but just really, really sleepy.

Since it's only going to be a week since I started taking my medicines, I haven't really felt any changes with my psyche lol but hopefully, soon I'll be seeing any.

I'm scheduled for a follow-up this coming September 30 so I guess that's something I kind of look forward to.

'Till then!

Journey to Central Luzon: 3D2N Bataan Trip

A very long overdue post!

Jem and I had been visiting various places during the month of June since Jem's duty was scheduled to start on July 1. Yes, my baby is already a clerk! *huhu so proud* anyway, so for our #hulinghurit, we've decided on visiting the historical province of Bataan!

Mt. Samat, Bataan

From Sur to Norte: 3D2N Ilocos Trip (Pt. 1)

Even before the start of Jem's last vacation, we've been planning on going all out on our trips. Because of this, we listed down the top places we wanted to visit before the start of his clerkship (shout out: CONGRATULATION JEMBOY! HUHU SO PROUD OF YOU! NEVER DOUBTED IT FOR A SECOND!) *ehem* so anyway, for our first trip for the month of June, we went to explore the region of Ilocos!

3 Destinations in 3 Days: The torture we volunteered for

Before we turned in the previous night, one of the tour guides approached us while we were chatting. He also tried to wake up our other companions but failed since they were already fast asleep. Anyway, he simply asked us what we wanted to do for the next day. He informed us that the highlight of our tour would be spelunking.

3 Destinations in 3 Days: Where do broken hearts go?

As promised, here's my last travel post for the year 2016.

Way before Jem's 'last' vacay started (yep, we're dreading it haha), we had a mutal agreement that we would join a joiners tour. See this had been becoming quite popular for travel junkies and social butterflies over the past years. Joiners tour is a type of tour arranged by travel agencies which aim to lower the costs of travelling by having a bunch of strangers travel together in groups.

GALORE!

Cats and Dogs

Hi everyone! So I'll be skipping one travel post since I haven't transferred the photos I took to my laptop HAHA. But worry not cause I promise I'll still post that one!

Moving forward, for our last date for the year 2016, Jem finally agreed to visit Bengal Brew Cat Cafe and Wolf & Bear Dog Cafe.

An Unexpected Trip

Like I said, I'll be updating my blog again now that I've already regained my energy and my will to write something not so negative about my life. Here's one I've been itching to post from the day I got back to posting stuff!

Way back 2015, I've been bugging Jem to have a camping trip to one of the beaches near Manila. He finally gave in when we learned that two of our friends, JR and France (see Tagaytay trip 1), went to Burot Beach and spent the night there with only a tent and quite a cheap budget (Jem's a big frugal).

So before summer ended, we planned our trip to Burot Beach located in Calatagan, Batangas.

Calatagan, Batangas

Spontaneous Trip Across The Verde Island Passage

I skipped one from the list because it was a bit personal so instead of posting that, here's the next one that I was able to tick off of my 2016 bucket list :)

• (Boracay) Any beach!

So by April of 2016, one my very close college friend, Yuvi, who is currently staying in US decided to head back here in the Philippines. Because of that, we (Yuvi, Hazel, and I) planned out an overnight that will be one of our unforgettable getaways. Actually, this was all so very spontaneous because we just talked about this the night before we traveled (we're badass like that LOL).

After what seemed to be an endless discussion as to where we were planning to go, we finally agreed on heading south across the narrow strait that was The Verde Passage to Puerto Galera.

White Beach, Puerto Galera (photo grabbed from here)

Puerto Galera is divided into different beaches. The party’s always on at White Beach; its restaurants and bars do a good trade. But if you’re looking for something more laid-back, head to a private resort in Sabang or Muelle (the main port) beach.

An Update from My List: Tagaytay Adventure (Pt. 2)

What the hell :)) I can't help but laugh at myself for forgetting about this blog and this post! I remember last year that I was so excited about this idea of keeping a blog and updating it from time to time whenever something worthwhile happens to me. Oh well, I guess since I promised that our adventure (from last year LOL) will have a part 2, here goes.

So for the Part 2 of our little adventure in Tagaytay (I'm trying my best to remember it since gosh it's almost its anniversary haha), after tiring ourselves and pigging out at Olivarez, we headed back to our hotel.

Whoever's idea it was it sucked, but we didn't take any pictures that night so this post will be pretty boring since it's only words.