It's been exactly a year since I last posted here on my blog. I know I have always neglected this site but this was probably my worst record ever HAHA.
So yeah, A LOT of stuff has happened and I was honestly contemplating on deleting this blog but I felt like deleting this would be such a waste! Honestly speaking, simply opening the link of this blog was VERY, VERY hard for me. I decided to be open about it here since I'm planning on continuing this little o'l blog of mine. Jem and I are no longer together so you won't be seeing him on my posts anymore haha. We had a good run. Did a lot of stuff. Traveled in most parts of Luzon. Learned a ton of things about the world and about each other. But there really are certain things in life that are supposed to end. I wish him success and happiness wherever life takes him, and I know he too wishes the same for me.
ENOUGH WITH THAT! :))
As what I have said, I'm planning on being an active blogger once again and I just needed to get that stuff out first cause I didn't want to delete/archive our travel posts cause apparently people found it helpful! Thank you for that and I really am sorry for not replying to your comments :(( I seriously just read about them just now, before typing this blog post. I'm such a bad communicator huhu I promise to change and really be active here.
I have a ton of stories to share with you guys so keep posted! I'll be prepping my posts tonight and schedule them for publication in the coming days and weeks. I hope the last 4 months of this amazing year will be a blast for everyone!
See you on my next post :)
-tatin
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Thursday, September 5, 2019
Wednesday, September 5, 2018
10 Home Date Ideas
Honestly, this post has been on my draft for who knows how long, but my embarassment is nowhere to be found right now so might as well post it, right? HAHA
Have you ever wondered what Jem and I do during our idle days? Probably not, cause we're not really a bunch of celebrities or someone for that matter. But still, I decided to post some of our usual stuff just for the sake of it!
Have you ever wondered what Jem and I do during our idle days? Probably not, cause we're not really a bunch of celebrities or someone for that matter. But still, I decided to post some of our usual stuff just for the sake of it!
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
Meet Our New Family Member
I've always wanted to have a living, breathing pet ever since I was small. Too bad my mom doesn't like the idea of taking care of another living, breathing something aside from me. I think it was because I already was too much to handle :)) Whenever I asked for one though, she always compensated by buying me fishes. All throughout my childhood we had a small aquarium inside our house. I guessed we stopped having one when my mom realized that it was still quite high maintenance (my mom is like that).
Luckily though, the place we live in is infested by cute, little cats. We had a number of unofficial pet cats when I was a child. There was Lucas (which I don't remember why I named him that way), then Ming-Ming (which we later placed on a box along with her numerous kittens, she's quite a whore LOL, and placed in an abandoned land... I was crying the whole time), then Mary who all of the sudden stopped dropping by our house, and now we have Garfield, the chillest unofficial house cat we ever had.
We had another development though. My aunt's friend offered her a free puppy last month and we happily agreed to take it home! I was sooo excited to meet it that I kept asking her every Sunday (it was her church-mate) if where the puppy was. Then on one fateful Sunday as I was doing our laundry, my aunt called from somewhere as she was walking home. And on her arms was a tiny, brown, SUPER CUTE puppy!!!
Luckily though, the place we live in is infested by cute, little cats. We had a number of unofficial pet cats when I was a child. There was Lucas (which I don't remember why I named him that way), then Ming-Ming (which we later placed on a box along with her numerous kittens, she's quite a whore LOL, and placed in an abandoned land... I was crying the whole time), then Mary who all of the sudden stopped dropping by our house, and now we have Garfield, the chillest unofficial house cat we ever had.
We had another development though. My aunt's friend offered her a free puppy last month and we happily agreed to take it home! I was sooo excited to meet it that I kept asking her every Sunday (it was her church-mate) if where the puppy was. Then on one fateful Sunday as I was doing our laundry, my aunt called from somewhere as she was walking home. And on her arms was a tiny, brown, SUPER CUTE puppy!!!
Sunday, March 26, 2017
Not Ready
Guess I'm back again with another travel-unrelated post. Or anything-exciting post.
I honestly started blogging because I was looking for a medium to express my thoughts and emotions. I am not a very social person; like, seriously, NOT a very social person. I don't even consider myself on the level 1 of being a social person; so imagine what I feel when all my frustrations builds up inside. Anyway, I'm writing this post now because I might have come face to face with something I am totally not ready for. It started on this day, Sunday of March 2017.
As always, Jem and I planned our day ahead. We were supposed to meet up at EDSA - P. Tuazon so we could travel back to their condo and engage in our weekly gym routine. Prior to that, I was supposed to do our weekly laundry. But after waking up at 9 in the morning, my body kept on telling me to sleep the day off and to not go outside... I instantly thought of my previous breakdown but immediately brushed it off thinking that it was probably just my laziness acting up again.
But then my head started aching. Both of my temples began pounding as if syncing with a tune I couldn't hear. Then it got worse. The ache encircled the back of my head and all I could think of was the pain I was feeling.
I immediately told my mom I couldn't do our laundry and she told me that she'll just do it herself, albeit it would only be their clothes. A bit disappointed since I will still have to do my own laundry, I got back to my room and laid down, thinking that a bit of rest would make this headache go away. At around quarter to 12, Jem pinged me on FB telling me he wouldn't be able to fetch me at our meet-up place since his mom asked him to register her on one of Nike's weekly run. I wasn't able to reply since my mom called me down to eat our lunch.
Still thinking that this headache of mine would disappear after I fill up my empty stomach, I hungrily munched on my home-cooked special mongo that my step-father prepared. Since I started feeling that the pounding on my head began fading, I decided to head out and go to Jem's condo. I booked a Grab Car since it was already a bit late and I didn't want to commute under the scorching heat.
The moment I stepped on their condo, I felt that my headache returned, and much, much worse. I told Jem that my head was pounding and he apparently offered me to take some meds but I didn't hear him. We went straight to the gym after fixing some of our stuff and began our cardio. With every exercise, the pounding in my head started getting stronger and stronger. After our warm-up, I felt like all of my blood traveled up to my brain as if helping to increase the pounding that was already too painful to handle. Jem settled me on one of the gym equipment and ushered me to rest instead.
I tried my best to take even just a short nap so I can free myself from the pain even for just a short while but I wasn't able to. I got up after 30-40 minutes or so (it was only after that that I was able to move) and told Jem that I'll just be lying outside near the swimming pool, thinking that the fresh air would help me. Jem finished his routine for another 10-15 minutes before going to me and helping me up. I actually needed his support. as well as the walls', so I could walk to the elevator.
When we got back to their condo, he gave me a paracetamol and asked me to wash up so that I could feel refreshed. Release my body from the heat, per se. After washing up, I hastily tried to dry my hair and lied down to catch some sleep, as he instructed me to.
I felt him lie next to me after a few minutes and I snuggled to him as I tried to get back to sleeping while he was reading some reviewer on his phone. It was a restless sleep and I didn't feel refreshed after it. When we woke up (he fell asleep too after reviewing for 10 minutes), we cuddled and talked about random things and I still felt like my head was about to burst in half. I don't exactly know what triggered it but then I suddenly began feeling extremely sad. I tried searching for a reason as to why but came up with nothing. I felt my throat lock up and felt a scream wanting to come out... then I cried. Then I had another panic attack.
Jem shushed me and comforted me all throughout. Then I realized what was wrong. Why I suddenly felt sad even when I was lying next to the person I consider most important to me. I felt scared... thinking back, I was already feeling this way days, weeks even, ahead. I've had this constant dream of Jem leaving me for another woman he met on one of his duties on the hospital. Then it got worse when I wasn't only dreaming about it (something I couldn't control) but I was thinking, imaging even, it (something that I should be able to control). I honestly felt scared of our future. Our relationship. Him leaving me. Me, being too dependent on him. Every little thing that would involved the two of us. I started imagining how would our stuff be divided when we broke up, because most of it are things that we bought 50/50. I started imagining seeing him years ahead, after our supposed break up, with another woman and me single acting as if everything was okay. The lowest I got was when I started thinking that he was cheating on me even though he had never given me a reason to feel that way... I felt worse when I realized that even I myself can't control my thoughts. I know he's a great man but my mind kept perverting his image. Telling me that he has an ugly side. Someone I haven't even seen or met. My own mind was contorting the image of the person I love into some monster that I would hate. As if telling me to save myself from a future full of heartache and pain even though he hadn't even given me a reason to feel that way. All this time he treated me like his equal. Something he would always protect. Treating me the way he treats himself; with respect and love...
So I told him. He was silent for the most part but right after it he encouraged me with words that I have always heard from him. He had told me daily that he loves me and that it would never change. But somehow it always feel like it was the first time I hear that from him. I felt glad that he understood and he didn't scoffed at me. That he didn't think I was only being dramatic. I felt glad that he was honestly worried about me. He assured me, like always, that his feelings wouldn't change. But still, we have to work together for our relationship to flourish and last.
I started calming down. But my headache was still there. Then he told me. That what I fear most was probably already happening. My headache was not caused by some biological thing (skipping meals, not getting enough sleep, etc) but by something psychological.
I was already assuming I have it but kept on telling myself that I was probably just on the dramatic side of the human spectrum. But with the pattern of constant worry of something that is not immediate. Something that is not there. Then the constant feeling of restlessness. Not being able to focus when feeling worried about something I imagined. Episodic headaches on the same location of the head which sometimes reaches the eyes and makes it blurry. The panic attacks. The episodic feeling of difficulty in breathing...
He suggested that I should go talk to the psychiatrist I know. Just so I could get a clear answer if I really am suffering with anxiety. I might go this week. Or maybe the next. Or maybe when I feel ready. I don't know. I'm already feeling anxious thinking about it...
I honestly started blogging because I was looking for a medium to express my thoughts and emotions. I am not a very social person; like, seriously, NOT a very social person. I don't even consider myself on the level 1 of being a social person; so imagine what I feel when all my frustrations builds up inside. Anyway, I'm writing this post now because I might have come face to face with something I am totally not ready for. It started on this day, Sunday of March 2017.
As always, Jem and I planned our day ahead. We were supposed to meet up at EDSA - P. Tuazon so we could travel back to their condo and engage in our weekly gym routine. Prior to that, I was supposed to do our weekly laundry. But after waking up at 9 in the morning, my body kept on telling me to sleep the day off and to not go outside... I instantly thought of my previous breakdown but immediately brushed it off thinking that it was probably just my laziness acting up again.
But then my head started aching. Both of my temples began pounding as if syncing with a tune I couldn't hear. Then it got worse. The ache encircled the back of my head and all I could think of was the pain I was feeling.
I immediately told my mom I couldn't do our laundry and she told me that she'll just do it herself, albeit it would only be their clothes. A bit disappointed since I will still have to do my own laundry, I got back to my room and laid down, thinking that a bit of rest would make this headache go away. At around quarter to 12, Jem pinged me on FB telling me he wouldn't be able to fetch me at our meet-up place since his mom asked him to register her on one of Nike's weekly run. I wasn't able to reply since my mom called me down to eat our lunch.
Still thinking that this headache of mine would disappear after I fill up my empty stomach, I hungrily munched on my home-cooked special mongo that my step-father prepared. Since I started feeling that the pounding on my head began fading, I decided to head out and go to Jem's condo. I booked a Grab Car since it was already a bit late and I didn't want to commute under the scorching heat.
The moment I stepped on their condo, I felt that my headache returned, and much, much worse. I told Jem that my head was pounding and he apparently offered me to take some meds but I didn't hear him. We went straight to the gym after fixing some of our stuff and began our cardio. With every exercise, the pounding in my head started getting stronger and stronger. After our warm-up, I felt like all of my blood traveled up to my brain as if helping to increase the pounding that was already too painful to handle. Jem settled me on one of the gym equipment and ushered me to rest instead.
I tried my best to take even just a short nap so I can free myself from the pain even for just a short while but I wasn't able to. I got up after 30-40 minutes or so (it was only after that that I was able to move) and told Jem that I'll just be lying outside near the swimming pool, thinking that the fresh air would help me. Jem finished his routine for another 10-15 minutes before going to me and helping me up. I actually needed his support. as well as the walls', so I could walk to the elevator.
When we got back to their condo, he gave me a paracetamol and asked me to wash up so that I could feel refreshed. Release my body from the heat, per se. After washing up, I hastily tried to dry my hair and lied down to catch some sleep, as he instructed me to.
I felt him lie next to me after a few minutes and I snuggled to him as I tried to get back to sleeping while he was reading some reviewer on his phone. It was a restless sleep and I didn't feel refreshed after it. When we woke up (he fell asleep too after reviewing for 10 minutes), we cuddled and talked about random things and I still felt like my head was about to burst in half. I don't exactly know what triggered it but then I suddenly began feeling extremely sad. I tried searching for a reason as to why but came up with nothing. I felt my throat lock up and felt a scream wanting to come out... then I cried. Then I had another panic attack.
Jem shushed me and comforted me all throughout. Then I realized what was wrong. Why I suddenly felt sad even when I was lying next to the person I consider most important to me. I felt scared... thinking back, I was already feeling this way days, weeks even, ahead. I've had this constant dream of Jem leaving me for another woman he met on one of his duties on the hospital. Then it got worse when I wasn't only dreaming about it (something I couldn't control) but I was thinking, imaging even, it (something that I should be able to control). I honestly felt scared of our future. Our relationship. Him leaving me. Me, being too dependent on him. Every little thing that would involved the two of us. I started imagining how would our stuff be divided when we broke up, because most of it are things that we bought 50/50. I started imagining seeing him years ahead, after our supposed break up, with another woman and me single acting as if everything was okay. The lowest I got was when I started thinking that he was cheating on me even though he had never given me a reason to feel that way... I felt worse when I realized that even I myself can't control my thoughts. I know he's a great man but my mind kept perverting his image. Telling me that he has an ugly side. Someone I haven't even seen or met. My own mind was contorting the image of the person I love into some monster that I would hate. As if telling me to save myself from a future full of heartache and pain even though he hadn't even given me a reason to feel that way. All this time he treated me like his equal. Something he would always protect. Treating me the way he treats himself; with respect and love...
So I told him. He was silent for the most part but right after it he encouraged me with words that I have always heard from him. He had told me daily that he loves me and that it would never change. But somehow it always feel like it was the first time I hear that from him. I felt glad that he understood and he didn't scoffed at me. That he didn't think I was only being dramatic. I felt glad that he was honestly worried about me. He assured me, like always, that his feelings wouldn't change. But still, we have to work together for our relationship to flourish and last.
I started calming down. But my headache was still there. Then he told me. That what I fear most was probably already happening. My headache was not caused by some biological thing (skipping meals, not getting enough sleep, etc) but by something psychological.
I was already assuming I have it but kept on telling myself that I was probably just on the dramatic side of the human spectrum. But with the pattern of constant worry of something that is not immediate. Something that is not there. Then the constant feeling of restlessness. Not being able to focus when feeling worried about something I imagined. Episodic headaches on the same location of the head which sometimes reaches the eyes and makes it blurry. The panic attacks. The episodic feeling of difficulty in breathing...
He suggested that I should go talk to the psychiatrist I know. Just so I could get a clear answer if I really am suffering with anxiety. I might go this week. Or maybe the next. Or maybe when I feel ready. I don't know. I'm already feeling anxious thinking about it...
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Spontaneous Trip Across The Verde Island Passage
I skipped one from the list because it was a bit personal so instead of posting that, here's the next one that I was able to tick off of my 2016 bucket list :)
(Boracay) Any beach!
So by April of 2016, one my very close college friend, Yuvi, who is currently staying in US decided to head back here in the Philippines. Because of that, we (Yuvi, Hazel, and I) planned out an overnight that will be one of our unforgettable getaways. Actually, this was all so very spontaneous because we just talked about this the night before we traveled (we're badass like that LOL).
After what seemed to be an endless discussion as to where we were planning to go, we finally agreed on heading south across the narrow strait that was The Verde Passage to Puerto Galera.
White Beach, Puerto Galera (photo grabbed from here)
Puerto Galera is divided into different beaches. The party’s always on at White Beach; its restaurants and bars do a good trade. But if you’re looking for something more laid-back, head to a private resort in Sabang or Muelle (the main port) beach.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Don't I?
I have the right to choose what really makes me happy, don't I?
It can't always be accepting things that I'm highly against and live with it my entire life, right?
I'm not a human who can bear so much weight on their shoulder and live life as if nothing's wrong and everything is perfect, right?
I can't always sacrifice my happiness and continue to fight if it isn't working anymore for me, right?
I'm just a normal human being who has limits and has the right to choose between what makes me happy and what makes me feel incomplete, aren't I?
It can't always be accepting things that I'm highly against and live with it my entire life, right?
I'm not a human who can bear so much weight on their shoulder and live life as if nothing's wrong and everything is perfect, right?
I can't always sacrifice my happiness and continue to fight if it isn't working anymore for me, right?
I'm just a normal human being who has limits and has the right to choose between what makes me happy and what makes me feel incomplete, aren't I?
posted from Bloggeroid
Thursday, January 1, 2015
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