Ningas-kugon

This is rant post. You have been warned.

Continuing...

This post is about the recent visit of the Head of the Church here in the Philippines.

It was an honor, really, no sarcasm intended there. Being a Christian living in a country where Catholicism is widely recognized and practiced, a visit by the Pope was a huge honor.

I have read some excerpts from his speeches and yes, it was beautiful. The content, the meaning, the message. It was all so beautiful.

I admit, I'm not one of the people who lined up on days end just to get a glimpse of him. I'm not one of the people who waited behind hundreds of people just so I could see his smiling, adorable I might say, face. Heck, I'm not not even one of the devoted Catholics. I don't religiously attend Sunday services. I don't do the rosary. I honestly confessed to a priest only once because it was required for me to do so. I don't believe in saints...

But I do believe in God. I love Him. I pray to Him in every chance I can. I talk to Him. I visit His place of worship whenever I can and talk to Him, thank Him, praise Him, ask for apologies... I have my faith in Him.

That was why I loved how the Pope reminded us that his visit should not be focused on him but to God. To the big guy upstairs. To the being we should all be looking up to.

And this is the reason this post will be a rant.

I hate how the Pope's visit lost this meaning. People craved to see the Pope when his visit should act as a reminder to pray for who he is representing. Statuses on various social media accounts turned into some conversion of non-religious to saints. Posts talking about how blessed they felt after seeing the Pope when we should've felt blessed everyday since God has given us another day. Another day to make memories, to reach out and help, to achieve something, to make another step towards our goal. I hate how I know deep inside this will be another one of the events where history will be written down but it will all just be it. History. No changes to be made. It will be just one of the days where people gathered to see someone.

I just hope that people, Filipinos specifically, truly understood the meaning of his visit. It was not supposed to be about him, but to be about Him. About God. About His goodness and greatness.

I hope with every post made, every word said or written, it will not just be left like that. No actions whatsoever. There should always be action. There should be changes made. Maybe not so much for the country, but for each and every individual's lives.

Live better.
Love greater.

Best Regards,

Me.

I lie. A lot.
I don't take care of myself.
I often offend you unintentionally.
I sometimes make promises that we both know I can't keep.
I'm envious of all the people around me, even to you.
I always compare myself and feel like shit later.
I fake most of smiles.
I try to be happy and contented.
I often cry silently.
I bottle up my feelings.
I isolate myself.
I don't talk much, unlike before.
I have changed.
I became worse.
I got sad.
Depressed...

But still, like I said, I try. I try to be the best. The best version of my worst state.

Disappointing

I feel so disappointed at myself.

I told myself years and years before that I wouldn't be like this. Acting like a spoiled little girl who wants everything to be perfectly following whatever she wanted. Everything according to plan. Everything according to what she has on mind.

I hate myself.

Welcome the New Year

It has been an epic roller coaster ride.

2014 has definitely one of my best years.

It's hard to put into words how last year has been through.

Tons of chapters in my life ended and begun without me even taking notice of.

Liters of tears has been shed but still uncomparable to the millions of laughters spent.

God has always been GREAT and I know that this year, this 2015, will be memorable like it was my last.

To The Person Who Made My 2014